smells like fun: 05/01/2002

Friday, May 31

This is an excellent speech an American teacher made about the concept of education in Western society. I found it on Joel's site.

Thursday, May 30

I was quite stoked to get home yesterday and find a large postage box with my name on it on the front step. To my surprise I discovered I had won the Cosmopolitan Save the Last Dance Competition and my prize was the CD soundtrack and a rather large poster depicting Julia Stiles hip-hoppin' till her legs be droppin' off.

After a few puzzled moments I remembered that during my pre-christmas sojourn to Coffs Harbour I had taken all my flatmate's old copies of Cosmo and New Idea on the train with me to pass the time, and during the 9 hour trip had completed every crossword and competition from cover to cover. My favourites were the 25-words-or-less, and apparently they (Cosmo and Paramount Pictures) were quite taken with my 25 word rhyming poem on "what happens to the 2 main characters after the movie". If only I could remember my poem I'd reproduce it here in all it's glory, but alas I cannot (in any case I've probably assigned them with copyright in the fine print somewhere so I couldn't even if I wanted to).

Wednesday, May 29

When three of my favourite things in the world are combined- Buffy, comics and parody- we get Bluffy, and I love it!

Tuesday, May 28

Hurrah for me and my fellow graduates of Sydney Uni's class of 2002! Even the rain could not dampen our spirits last Friday morning when we were handed our certificates and afterwards threw our mortar boards into the air (and then dashed for cover because they are actually really heavy and could have your eye out if you're not careful). Six years of blood, sweat, tears and cliches- all for a scrap of paper.
Actually I'm in a bad mood for two reasons- firstly because channel 7 cancelled Buffy unannounced last night to show the french open (I refuse to capitalise those two hateful words in protest) and secondly because I have a meeting at 1pm today meaning I am denied my weekly dose of yoga with Mark. Bastards! Inconsiderate Bastards! (I capitalise these words in protest).
In fact I am in such an emotional state I feel I can only express my emotions in haiku format thus:

Mark! Denied today
your radiant gorgeousness
and your smiling face
is a sunburst through dark clouds
that cloak me when you're away

I must also add oysters to the list of forbidden foods. Apparently they are a minefield of disease and nastiness.

Tuesday, May 21

One thing I don't like about my new job (but that is also good in a way) is that I now have a heightened awareness of all things relating to food and the law- chemicals in food, laws about food and the right and wrong way to slaughter animals for human consumption, cases of food poisoning, regulations and codes on how much carcinogen, mercury, asbestos, lead is allowed in certain foods, and the list goes on. After reading cases and legislation for just 4 weeks I already have cut several foods from my diet, including chips (too much carcinogen) and alfalfa sprouts (more salmonella than uncooked chicken). It is certainly turning out to be a case of Ignorance Was Once Bliss...

Friday, May 17

I've just found out something great that has vindicated me and freed me of a childhood trauma!

I have just discovered that Alison Broadbent, my arch-nemesis on the netball courts of the Central Coast rep squad who- when we were in under 15's squad together was ultimately selected as GD instead of me- causing me to go into a rage and swear never to play netball again and switching to hockey as my preferred team sport of choice- has been selected for the Australian netball team, the greatest team in the world!

For years I tasted bitter envy, cursing my parents for my inferior genetic make-up that caused me to stop growing at 167cm, when at 15 years of age, Alison (or Big Bird as she was called behind her back) was already 179cm tall and could touch the netball ring with her outstretched fingers. The 3 feet rule meant nothing to her- whereas I made up for my vertically challenged status by being a hard worker on the court- my strategy being to cut the ball off before it made it to the circle. Alison didn't have to move, she just let the other team work their way into the circle and then stood in front of the goalie when she took her shot. I often referred to her style as the "brick shithouse" method. Teenage girls are cruel, I make no apologies.

But I feel happy now and can start the healing process- safe in the knowledge that my brilliant career as an international netballing superstar was cut short by someone who actually is an international netballing superstar. Good work, Big Bird.

Tuesday, May 14

Well here I am, blogging at work even though I promised myself I would do no such thing. But i have to write about the glorious Mark- my Tuesday yoga instructor. In fact I am quite moved to write a haiku about him.

Mark, you are supple
like a bamboo shoot in Spring
Bum high in the air
your Brad Pitt looks make me sigh
and thus I cannot balance

Wednesday, May 8

I also need to mention that Eleena's accoustic night at Club 77 last night was effin' excellent. Stars of the evening included Ben Webster, Eleena's best friend Anne and Willo from work. Also someone I'd never heard before called Bertie Blackman played, and I thought she was so good I purchased her homemade CD recording. Alas Bertie has ripped me off because I've tried to play the afforementioned CD on several different computers and CD players and it appears as if the CD is EMPTY- there's nothing on it. So I paid ten bucks for a blank CD. Not happy, Jan...

If someone paid me to blog everyday it would be like, totally, like, the best job ever. But now that I have a "real" job that involves staring at a computer screen for 7 hours a day it's the last thing I feel like doing when I get home. And nothing funny happens at work that I can write about here- it's like I'm short on interesting material nowadays. I bet now I've said that I'll turn up tomorrow and something unbelievably embarrasing will occur. Touch wood.

Actually there was yoga on Tuesday- with Mark the yoga instructor who looks like Brad Pitt's younger brother. Corrrrrr. Interesting to note that every female (and a couple of males I should add) that had a good view of his rear in the yoga circle (he was standing in the middle and it just happened that Maria and I were lucky enough to be 'behind him') couldn't keep their balance when we were doing the lotus-y thingy standing on one leg, because everyone could not take their eyes off TROM (the rear of Mark). Needless to say I was crap at yoga and couldn't do a downward dog to save myself, but rest assured I'll be back next week...

Saturday, May 4

It was my brothers girlfriends birthday last night, and thanks to the bar my brother built in the corner of his lounge room, everyone present became very ill. It's the attraction of being able to step behind the bar and pour yourself doubles and triples, and make shots with rude names that makes everyone who enters their house very very ill.

smells like fun