Langkawi was ace and the pool parties were gnarly. I didn't leave the hotel the entire time. Bit culturally insensitive, but if I lived in a tin shed by the side of the road outside the hotel and cleaned hotel rooms for sloppy bastards, I'd be praying to Mecca that someone gets a jihad cap popped in their rich western ass.
[Headshake] Anyhoo, I drank cocktails in the pool. I asked for Blue Tangos (Miss Sally's favourite Langkawian beverage) but the bar guy shook his head like he'd never heard of it, so I had Singapore Slings, Long Island Ice Teas, and something frothy with pineapple juice froth on top that the guys nicknamed the 'Langkawi Happy Ending', ewww. I got sunstroke one afternoon from spending too long in the pool, and sang 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' at our after-dinner karaoke party on the beach.
Some of the Aussie contingent brought a blow up crocodile and blow up kangaroo for the 'Cultural Event' and afterwards, they accompanied us into meetings and conferences etc. They ended up dying in the pool one night when the CEO tried to 'Steve Irwin' the croc and roo. It had all gotten a bit Lord of the Flies by that stage so I'd left earlier. You'll also be glad to know that nobody recognised my disguise (I was dressed as a Cronulla Rioter) at the 'Cultural Event'.
GUESS WHO stayed at the Westin on Friday night - our last night... My clue is that I sent a band of brainwashed male supermodels to try and kill him with 'Magnum' and 'Blue Steel'....
Kill the Malaysian Prime Ministerrrrrr!Yah, the Malaysian Prime Minister! He was there to close an international sailing regatta that was happening around the corner. This created endless opportunities for jokes and much movie-line quoting. Several non-Zoolander fans thought I was going to get shot by undercover guards when I was running around the foyer singing 'RELAX'. Luckily he survived, as did I.
Labels: Langkawi, Steve Irwin, work junkets, Zoolander
posted by Rachael @ 12:20 AM
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